Ah today. So today I was back at my part time job at nine am. Which let me say, still not easy to wake up that early on the weekends. I discovered something today though. Work is so much nicer when you have something in common and like the people you work with. At my full time job there is one person I feel fits this bill and he knows who he is… ok 2 but I don’t get to see you on a daily basis anymore J.K. Anyhoo, working with a group of self proclaimed bibliophiles we all have that one thing in common which has lead to some pretty great friendships so far.
So I started my day off to the shock of working alone for an hour with 2 managers. Both of whom scare me just a little bit. Upon seeing a friendly face I promptly flipped out and hugged her. I only worked 4 hours but it ended up being an ok day. Saw 2 friends I hadn’t seen in a while! I was picked up by one of my other co-workers and friend (my Hobbit) and her boyfriend and taken out for bubble tea. It was pretty yummy.
One of the things I have really been struggling with is the finding and keeping friends. Despite the fact that I met some of my best friends two years ago and have still maintained very wonderful and healthy relationships with them, I still find it hard to see my value. The years leading up to meeting these people I:
- Went through some bad stuff with my dad. Long story short, he wasn’t a nice man for a very long time and our relationship now reflects that
- Went to a school where I was made to feel like an outsider because I wasn’t Christian enough, ie: I was a realist. I know bad things happen and that sometimes in life you have to take care of yourself. I said the occasional curse word.
- Worked up the courage to tell a guy I liked him only for him to tell me to loose 30 pounds and he’d think about it (sadly, that’s not all he said but I am trying to forget it)
So, it is very hard for me to go outside that protective bubble and think that I am worth someone’s time by just being Katie.
Back to today though, I went out with my Hobbit, her boyfriend and their group of friends who were really lovely people. I tried not to second guess myself and just talk to people. I feel like I was a success at this and because I believed in myself I had fun. Met the guy her boyfriend wanted to set me up with. Still terrified at the thought but I found out that like myself, he hasn’t been in a relationship yet. I was starting to think that wasn’t possible anymore. Full disclosure: I have decided to officially stop looking. Maybe if I stop looking he’ll find me? Maybe I will stick to that this time haha.
On a personal note, last week and this week have been really hard for me. It is the 2 year anniversary of meeting my besties in London. There are not enough words to describe my love of that city, that trip, or the people I met there. Normally my friends and I gather and mourn being stuck in Kentucky (or Ohio) together but a friend went rouge and has returned without the rest of Afghan Puppy. I am incredibly happy for him that he got the opportunity to go back but it hurts SO MUCH that we’re all not there with him. I hope he is enjoying Kinder Eggs because they are never far from my dreams.
As this blog continues you will notice I will talk about London… a lot. I am a proud Anglophile which I am sure you will pick up on soon enough.
Well, it’s after midnight here (around 6 am in London *tears*) so I am off to bed to start another fun day tomorrow (..or in a couple of hours…). Goodnight all ( Good morning Royal Ryan)