Stress. So. Much. Stress.
Mostly just because of staff evaluations. The terror I feel going into those is kind of pathetic. You would think after 2 years here I would feel some since of job security. Depending on the day, I do, but 9 times out of 10 I am terrified to see my job and my livelihood pulled out from under me like a rug. Any extra good thoughts that could be sent my way would be appreciated.
The season of Lent is upon us again. I myself am not Catholic but my mom was raised Lutheran and they do something similar to the Catholic faith so that means no meat for me today.. and Friday. I honestly don’t mind it so much. I’m not even really required to follow these rules anymore. I think in a way that makes it a little more meaningful to me. I am choosing to do a few small things for this 40(ish) day period as my own way of showing my faith. That being said, I am giving up pop, cutting down on candy (oh Lord!), and attempting to start waking up early and do small work outs at home.
Life has been pretty slow here otherwise. Work then home or work, more work, then home. Nothing out of the norm and I guess that’s nice. I feel like my moving out has not changed my role at home. I was really hoping that moving out would mean more free time and less having to check in with everyone every. It has definitely diminished a little bit but I still feel like I am running in circles playing taxi. I really wish that circumstances were different and there were other options for my siblings besides myself and Jordan but such as it is. I seem to lose so many friends over my commitment to my family. Well, maybe just one friend and to be honest that loss is going to tear me apart. Is it possible for people to be understanding? To know that I find this a struggle too? I wish every day that I could just live in the moment and do whatever I wanted on a whim. I can’t. I have 2 jobs and major responsibilities and I can’t just freely plan my life at a literal moment’s notice.
I had started this as a draft yesterday but didn’t notice the time and had to leave before it was finished. This was probably a good thing as I needed some time to reflect. I had a pretty good evening when I got home. I knew something was wrong with Gracie when she willingly asked to take a nap. That particular sister HATES to sleep. I’m being dead serious here. She loves to be moving and around people and gets extremely mad at herself if her body just can’t take it and needs a nap. So, that’s when you know something is wrong. Especially when she sleeps for about 4 hours. Unfortunately, another one of us has succumbed to whatever virus seems to be attacking my family. Thankfully, not in the same way that my mom and brother suffered so that’s good news at least? Maybe?
On a happier note, Jordan and I were following our alternate plan for the weekdays. By that I mean we watched reruns of shows on the CW versus Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy and the most hilarious episode of Modern Family was on. It was the season 4 episode called Party Crasher. Go watch it! Jordan and I were almost in tears at all the stuff with Mitch, Cam, and Lily.
Until next time, lots of love