A renewal/review

Hello all,

This blog was supposed to be a daily journal reviewing my day and how I chose to be happy each day. Well, as you can tell I have been slacking a bit in both of those areas.

Happiness, a conscious effort to be happy that is, is something I have been struggling with for a very very long time. I feel like I am doing slightly better on that front on the whole though (Jordan, Avril, Momma, correct me if I am wrong)! I know that this is a long road I will be walking on for a while. So, I will make an effort to post things, even if it is simply a list of things that made me happy or struggled and then overcame each day. They won’t be riveting posts but I am hoping others will find it helpful (?). So, a quick review of my happiness so far in 2014. I feel a little bumped and bruised from both jobs and some personal things going on, but I am trying to still smile and rise above it. For the first time in a long time, I feel like I am in a good place and can continue to grow. Finally having a space to call my own and a little less responsibilities from my family makes me breathe a lot easier and not feel so bogged down. That being said, I still lash out when I get nervous and tend to hide at home in my books when I feel too pressured. Overall though, I think I have made some serious progress with thinking better.

As far as daily blogging, it really is a pain to use my laptop. It is quite literally falling apart more and more every time I use it. Yet, making excuses instead of telling people straight out what I think is something else I should be working on. So, I will make an effort to revive my computer or use another device to post.

I really don’t want to waste anyone’s time with repeating myself day in and day out. For the most part, my days are the same. I do the same thing ever Monday-Friday and I just don’t want to bore every one with that.

Anyways, you all have not missed anything major in my life. I can promise I would have shared that! I have been really struggling lately with trying to be patient about finding a boyfriend. My sister’s boyfriend spends almost every weekend with us and seeing them together and happy makes me so sad and so jealous.

I was so excited to see/speak with one of our incoming nursing students again. He was so nice to me last time we spoke and we had a pretty long discussion about books and things and I even tried (and failed) to read the book he suggested (currently listening to the audio cds). He was just as nice and handsome as I remembered and was just as personable. Due to circumstances I won’t go into in the blog, I don’t think it will go anywhere. I told Jordan who responded with this : “I know 😦 but like Beth said, “keep crushing.” You’re trying, and that’s all you can do right now! Someone is going to come along and realize how wonderful you are. I know it. And I am ALWAYS right. Seriously. Always. ” which was very nice to hear and made me feel much much better.

I think that gets us just about caught up again. More soon!

Lots of love,

Me

 

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