Before I begin I want to say “No this is not a review of the show” and “It is sadly not about wedding dresses”.
This is about a very particular dress.
Almost 3 years ago now I was very happily shopping for a cute new dress to wear to my best friend’s wedding. A little bit nicer than just a summer dress but also light enough for a summer wedding. As I’m sure most of you know not only is this challenging it can also mean you would be dropping a bit of change on one. I was SO lucky to find a gorgeous dress (with pockets! ladies celebrate with me) on sale for.. wait for it… SEVENTEEN DOLLARS!!! WHHHHAAAAAAA? Needless to say, I took this only as a sign of good things to come because I immediately found an adorable navy shrug that matched perfectly-also on sale!
So, I went to Elizabeth’s wedding (check her blog out btw) wearing my new dress. I was a bit self conscious, I won’t lie. I’m not at an ideal weight by any means and but I knew that I would be welcomed with open arms and encouragement.. and I was right. Everyone was so encouraging and loving and complimentary. **I want to quickly say I’m not trying to fish for compliments or sound full of myself but the contrast will make sense shortly.**
Here is all of us dancing away (sorry for stealing this from your FB Elizabeth!)
I decided to ride the wave of excitement and wear it to the convocation at my new job. We were told to dress up as if we were going to a wedding or to church. I thought “this is a dress that makes me feel good about myself, and my body”. I should have heeded my original fears.
As I am sure EVERY woman can agree sometimes you do everything right to try to replicate an outfit and one piece doesn’t work, doesn’t go together, issues with static, etc. Well- that day my mom had to take me to work. I don’t remember why now, all I remember is that for what ever reason, I would be stuck until 4:30. Well, the outfit did not work out. The static from my pantyhose was causing friction with the dress causing the skirt to rise causing me to compensate by pulling it down. This counteracted with the bra I was wearing. I was at my wits end and choking back tears when I decide to rig my shrug shut with a bent open paper clip. That’s when it all started.
- I was told to pull my dress up no less than 4 times.
- As if I didn’t realize. I’m sorry did you miss the tear stains and the paper clip? Do I give off the vibe that I WANT to flaunt myself?
- At the end of the day I was told about what is considered appropriate work attire
- I was 25 years old at the time. I know how to dress and what is appropriate. (You are wearing a SWEAT suit!)
No one was gracious or caring or understanding. I was crying and hurting and I have STILL been made fun of. I mentioned about how embarrassed I was over the way I was treated over a simple misunderstanding to a co worker, how I went home and cried to my mom for a solid hour over it when I got off. Her response? ” Oh! I would have LOVED to have seen that. “MOOOOOM everyone made me cry because my boobs were hanging out”. So… yeah.
Now, I am sorry for the sad bit but what I wanted to say was this. That dress, has hung in my closet unworn and unused out of fear for nearly 3 years now. It went from a great reminder of a great day to one of the worst and uncomfortable reminders of my life. The thing is, I know I looked good in that dress and I know it was just ONE wardrobe error that mean people won’t let go of.
So-my point- I’m wearing it again. To the VIP night at the Bookstore I work for. Sadly, I am not brave enough to wear it to my full time job before hand but I will be running home in the hour in between and swapping out fits. I will attempt to channel all of the good and happy thoughts that I received while trying to drown out the bad memories.
I’ve decided I am tired of being made to feel this way and I AM going to say yes to this dress again… and enjoy every minute of it.
Lots of love-